Wiggles

way back when i was just a little bitty boy, living in a box in the corner of the basement of the house down the street from jerry's bait shop (you know the place) - well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy! except of course for the undeniable fact that every single morning, my mother would make me a big old bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. d'aww - big bowl of sauerkraut! every single morning! it was driving me crazy! i said to my mom, i said, "hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?!" and my dear sweet mother, she just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train, and she leaned right down next to me, and she said, "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!" and then she forcefed me nothing but sauerkraut until i was twenty-six and a half years old. that's when i swore that someday, SOMEDAY i would get out of that basement and travel to a magical faraway place where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer, and the towels are oh so fluffy